Perfect Future – Attract Yours Now
Can you remember a time when you knew exactly what you wanted out of life?
Alternatively, are you struggling to discover exactly what your purpose could be?
You were born into this world for a particular purpose, and to be living the life predetermined for you, t hereby gaining maximum satisfaction and achievement.
You can only find complete happiness when you discover your true purpose, and work with the natural laws of the universe, following the path set in place for you.
This book shows you how to make good decisions, and correct choices as you move through life. It gives you strategies to discover and follow your passions, activating the Law of Attraction to draw to you the resources you need.
Visualize yourself living the life of your dreams, and making a difference in the world, then watch as your destiny unfolds.
ATTRACT YOUR PERFECT FUTURE
by Christine Sherborne
You are not an accident. You are a completely unique, one-of-kind human being. There is no-one on this Earth exactly like you. There never has been and never will be.
You were born into this world for a purpose, and to gain maximum satisfaction in your life and achieve all that you can, you should discover what that purpose is and follow your destiny. You will only find complete happiness when you discover your true purpose, and work with the universe, following the path it has laid out for you.
It takes time to discover your true path, and you will make many false starts. But you will know when you are on the correct path, because those are the times in your life when everything seems to fall into place.
During your lifetime, you are faced with many decisions and alternative choices, each of which lead to many more choices, the sum of which ultimately create your future. You will undoubtedly make some good decisions and some bad ones along the way. This book will help you to make the right choices for a successful future by helping you to discern your destiny.
Sometimes you may think that the choices you have made in the past have spoiled your life for good, but be assured that it is usually possible for the worst decision, action or situation to be turned around for your benefit. By acting now, using your intuition, prayer and spiritual guidance, with determination, and the help of this book, you can change your future for the better.
If you shrink from making a decision or taking any sort of risk, you end up wavering and being tossed and blown by the winds of fortune, which very often turn out to be the winds of misfortune.
You were given a spirit that is naturally drawn towards life and making choices that bring good to your spirit and body. Your intuition is a natural gift – use it to discern the way to go. When making decisions, there are techniques you can use to help – sometimes it is just commonsense, or discussing the situation with someone else, and sometimes you can call on your intuition, discerning in your spirit the correct decision.
When you are on the right track, working with your destiny, you will find that doors open for you, assistance comes from places you couldn’t imagine, and you will feel peace in your spirit. When you are tempted to go the wrong way, very often you will find that obstacles arise, and everything becomes difficult.
Tom Stoppard said: “Every exit is an entry somewhere.”
and Harry Emerson Fosdick said: “He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determines the end.”
CHARACTER TRAITS WE SHOULD ALL DEVELOP
Whilst you need to find your own unique purpose, there are general universal objectives which everyone needs to aim for. These are the traits you look for in someone else, which attracts you to them. You need to be a loving person, accepting others as they are, unconditionally, but you also need to love yourself. If you don’t love and respect yourself, it is very difficult to show love to others. To love and be loved is imprinted in your spirit, and your spirit is yearning to have this desire fulfilled.
Learn to give and to receive with grace, to pursue knowledge and wisdom in all that you can. Learn to focus on the present and revel in the moment, and to experience a life that is exciting and joyous, being all that you can, being true to yourself.
EVALUATING WHERE YOU ARE
Before making major changes, evaluate where your life stands at this moment. Ask yourself, what is working for you and what isn’t? Work out a plan to change the things that are not working for you and increase the time you spend on the things that are working for you.
Think about new experiences that you may want to try. Move out of your comfort zone, and include things which you might have dismissed in the past as too frightening. Write out a list of anything that you might be remotely interested in trying, then decide to try each one in turn.
What other changes have you been thinking of? Think of each area of your life, such as relationships, spirituality, work, leisure, health and education. What is working and what is not working in these areas? What would you like to try that is different to what you are presently doing? Remember, the saying, that if you do what you have always done, you always get what you have always got. Nothing changes unless you change what you are doing.
Life is an exciting journey, and you only get one chance at it – this isn’t a dress rehearsal! Remember, if it’s to be, it’s up to me.
Robin Williams said; “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”
DECIDING WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
The law of attraction is all about feelings. What you focus on with strong emotion is attracted to you. But the question is, what do you really want?
“Lots of money would be nice” you may say. But is that what you really want? Could it be that what you really want is the security and freedom that being wealthy would bring?
Therefore what you really want is to feel secure and free to live your life as you please. Having money as such, may not necessarily enable you to experience these emotions.
It’s somewhat of a paradox, that you need to start feeling secure and free in order to attract the means to experience security and freedom, because the negative emotions generated when you don’t feel secure, will drag you deeper into insecurity.
When you are able through your thoughts to focus on the feelings of security and freedom now, then the means will come to you. The positive emotions generated by your thoughts will then help you start to make decisions and choices that move you in the direction of security and freedom. At the same time as you move towards that state, the universe is bringing into line the means to achieve that state in your life. You are working with the universe instead of against it.
In the same way you may think you want a wonderful relationship, and are looking for the perfect partner. But what you may really want, is the feeling of being loved and cared for. Again, you have to be happy with yourself, before you can give love to others. If you are trying to find someone to share your life out of your need and lack, you do in fact drive away any potential partners.
So, to decide what you really want out of life, look first at the feelings you want to experience, asking yourself these questions:
What feelings would you experience if you were wealthy?
What feelings would you experience with the perfect partner?
What feelings would you experience if you were in the perfect job?
What feelings would you experience if you lived in the perfect house?
When you discover the true basis for your desires, then you can begin to learn to control your feelings, concentrating on the emotions you would enjoy in the perfect situation. The emotions you experience will start to attract the right circumstances to enable you to make them a reality.
WAYS TO DISCOVER YOUR PASSION
Imagine that there were no obstacles to anything you wanted to do. Money is no object, people accept whatever you want, and circumstances change to facilitate whatever you want to do. Imagine that you have all the resources that you could possibly need, there are no negative consequences, and you cannot fail. If this was the case, what would you really most like to do?
Think about things you do now which you enjoy. This could be some aspect of your work, volunteering for some needy cause, hobbies, pastimes, people you really enjoy spending time with, whatever. Would you like to expand on any of these, full time? If so, then that could be a starting point for you.
If you can think of nothing you particularly enjoy in your present situation then you must look for ways to expand your horizons. Try out new activities, read a variety of books. Take time to read the autobiographies of famous successful people to get an idea of their lives, and what they enjoyed. Be inspired.
Make a list of your natural talents and abilities. Make a list of your character traits. Do you enjoy humor, are you artistic, are you a good organizer? You might love music or dancing for instance. Move towards a life style that fits in with your natural aptitudes and you will begin to feel comfortable, that you are going in the right direction.
Really get into your feelings. What makes you excited and happy? Think back to times you really felt motivated and energized – After all isn’t that what you want – a purpose that you love? How can you recreate that feeling?
Harry Palmer said: “Following another’s path leads to who they are, not to who you are.”
DISCOVERING YOUR PASSION FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD
If you are not sure what your goals and dreams are, a good place to start is to think back to your childhood and the activities that you really enjoyed. It may not be the actual activity, but the emotion or skill that you enjoyed.
A simple example would be coloring and drawing. If the skill that you most liked was being creative with the use of colors, this may indicate to you that you would like to pursue a career in interior design or graphic art.
If you were always hammering nails into wood, or making models, this may indicate a desire to work with your hands, in engineering or carpentry. If you enjoyed traveling you may like to consider a career in the travel industry.
Take time to sit and dream about the future, imagining that you could do anything, and see where your mind takes you. Put the question to your subconscious mind before you go to sleep, and allow it to bring to the surface the answer.
Albert Camus said; “In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.”
Ernest Holmes said “Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.”
MOVING IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR PASSION
No-one wants to spend their lives working or living in situations in which they are unhappy or unfulfilled. You need to find your passion, your predetermined destiny. This passion could be in any area of your life.
Realistically you will have to do some things that you dislike, in order to operate in the world. For instance, you have to do your tax returns and pay your bills. Nevertheless, it is important that your overall life is in harmony with your passions, to give you a reason for living.
It may be that your passion is raising a phenomenal family, or you may have a calling to help underprivileged children. It could be working in a profession that is really fulfilling. Sometimes that passion is obvious and sometimes you have to seek it.
You may already know what you are passionate about but finding it difficult to develop that area of your life. If this is the case you will need determination and persistence to gradually move in the right direction.
If you have no idea what your passion is, then try new things with enthusiasm and eagerness. Go out of your way to try new experiences, new hobbies and be interested in everything around you. Don’t be fixed in your expectations, but go out of your way to try as many new things as possible. Deliberately move out of your comfort zone, push the boundaries, and monitor your feelings. Eventually you will find something that really moves you, something you can develop a passion for, something which will give you a joyful life.
THE ROCKING CHAIR TEST
Imagine that you are eighty years old and sitting in a rocking chair, slowly rocking to and fro.
You begin to reminisce and look back on your life – what do you see? Do you see a full life, well lived, with good lasting relationships, a life that made a difference in the world, or just a mediocre life without any major achievements, passionate relationships or highlights?
What did you contribute to society?
Will anyone miss you when you have gone?
If the answers to these questions are less than satisfactory, then now is the time to start to make changes. You have the opportunity to change your future, but the time to start this is now.
Imagine a little while longer and allow your mind to think about what you would like to have achieved by the end of your life. What would you like people to say about you? Think carefully about each aspect of your life – personal, spiritual, relationships, work etc. – think about what an ideal life would look like, then begin each day to work on each area and build up step by step a plan for the life you can be proud of.
PLANNING YOUR COURSE
Your life is a journey, not a destination. Every day you change the direction of your life by the decisions you make. Each thought you think, each action you take, moves you in a certain direction, and that direction can be towards a specific goal or just randomly into the maze of life. It is your choice to be randomly blown hither and thither at the whim of others, or to create the life you want by taking control.
You need to know where you want to go, before you can take any sort of control. If you have not made goals, thought about your future and planned out a course, it is impossible to know which direction to go in. To control your future you must know where you want to go, then consciously control your thoughts, speech and actions to lead you in the right direction. When you make a conscious decision to do something, then you control the creation of your life direction. When you don’t, you allow circumstance and other people to become the creators of your life.
Becoming a conscious creator means taking action and not waiting for life to unfold for you. Become pro-active rather than re-active. If you are constantly reacting to situations without conscious thought, you will be constantly ‘fire-fighting’, trying to extricate yourself from problems you could have avoided.
To choose your future, you need to choose to be fearless to try new situations and all sorts of new activities. You become the owner, the leader and creator of your own destiny. The more confident you become as you take control of your life, the more successful and happy you will be.
DIRECTION WITH PURPOSE
When you are searching for direction in your life remember to consider your purpose. Why are you here? Is there a something to accomplish that only you can do?
It is not easy for most people to discover their life purpose. Some of the luckier ones have a clear vision, and find a calling in their work, achieve fame through music or art, or satisfy their inner guidance by living a life of sacrifice for others.
One couple to consider are Reginald and Catherine Hamlin. They gave up the luxury of comfortable living in their home country of Australia to go to Ethiopia to help young mothers who are left with a debilitating injury called a fistula after giving birth at a young age. This injury causes them to be ostracized by their families, and forced to live in isolation from their community.
Reginald and Catherine set up and work in a hospital that is dedicated to repairing the injuries of these young girls, enabling them to return to their husbands and villages and live a normal life.
Another person who comes to mind is Fred Hollows, who worked selflessly among the blind in Africa and Asia. He developed revolutionary technology for producing artificial lenses cheaply, giving the gift of sight to thousands.
For the majority of us our purpose is probably not as self sacrificing and noble as these, but could none the less be important. You could be the most important person in a child’s life, or you could be a link in a chain of events that produces something great in the future.
Don’t be dismayed if it seems that your purpose is not immediately obvious, or if that purpose seems trivial compared with some of the famous, because you are unique, and your purpose can only be achieved by you! Consider the following:
PURPOSE & IMPACT
It is possible that you have already fulfilled your purpose on Earth, and you may never realize it. As the following story illustrates, a poor Scottish farmer fulfilled his life purpose, which had a huge impact on millions of lives, but he didn’t realize that he had achieved his main purpose in life.
A poor farmer in Scotland was busy tending his sheep on his small croft when he heard a cry for help. He realized that it was coming from a nearby bog, which was notoriously dangerous. Running in the direction of the sound he came upon a young lad who was struggling up to his waist in the black mud. The farmer pulled him out, saving him from an almost certain horrible suffocating death.
Hoeing his garden the next day Farmer Fleming was surprised when a fine carriage pulled up outside his croft. He leaned on his hoe and watched as a nobleman stepped down from the carriage. The man walked over to him and introduced himself as the father of the boy he had pulled from the bog the day before.
“You saved my son’s life, and I want to repay you in any way I can”
“I couldn’t possibly accept any payment for what I did” the farmer replied.
As they were speaking the farmer’s son emerged from inside the croft. “Is that your son?” asked the nobleman. “Yes” replied the farmer throwing his arm around the boy’s shoulder proudly.
“If you won’t take any payment for saving my son’s life then let me take your son and give him a good education”
The farmer couldn’t let his son miss out on such a great opportunity and agreed to let the man take the boy.
Farmer Fleming’s son was a very bright boy and a quick learner. Many years later he graduated from medical school in London. Eventually, he discovered penicillin and became known the world over as Sir Alexander Fleming.
Decades later the boy that had been saved from the bog that day by Farmer Fleming contracted pneumonia. He was saved a second time from death by the drug that has saved millions since, penicillin.
That boy was Sir Winston Churchill, who as Prime Minister of England led the country to victory in World War II.
This one quick action by the farmer resulted in saving and continuing to save, millions of lives. Maybe that farmer didn’t live to see the results of his actions that day and never knew what his purpose was in his life, but he fulfilled it none the less.
GUIDELINES WHEN MAKING DECISIONS
You are creating your life every moment of every day by the constant choices and decisions that you make. Every choice changes the course of your life in incremental steps.
Some decisions are small and some are life-changing, but the more often you can make the right choice the better your life will become. Remember, you are the sum total today of every decision you have ever made. If you want your life to improve, then you must ensure that your percentage of right decisions is higher than the wrong ones.
In order to improve your decision making, please consider the following guidelines. Firstly, consider whether the decision is yours to make or someone else. You only need to be concerned with the decisions which are yours to make.
Try to give yourself the time and the information you need to make an informed decision. If the decision is reversible you can make it in a shorter time, but if it is one that you can’t change then you must allow yourself enough time to choose correctly. Don’t be rushed.
Choose with integrity, that is choosing the decision that is morally right and not what someone else believes is right. I talk more about this later on.
Work through your decision on paper. Write a list of pros and cons and what the possible outcomes may be. Then sleep on it if possible, before making a choice.
Be aware of other people who may be affected by your decision. How will it affect them?
Look for the smallest action you can take to move in the direction of the decision so that you can correct your course if necessary.
Think how you will implement the decision. What steps need to be taken?
Once you have decided, stick with it and don’t worry about it.
Robert F. Kennedy said: “Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.”
CHANGING AUTOMATIC RESPONSES
Studies show that for more than eighty five per cent of our time, we are on auto pilot. We respond automatically, and that response is learned from our experiences, such that eventually our subconscious brain responds without us being aware of it.
Most of the day passes in automatic actions. You drive to work and arrive, without any conscious thought of the trip. The whole time you have probably been thinking about your day, or what happened on a date the previous evening. This is the way most people go through their day, on automatic pilot. Try to be aware of the now, by being alert, so that you can choose the path which will create your life as you want it to be.
When you make a decision on ‘auto pilot’, you are not really thinking about the choices – you are only reacting as you have in the past, without considering the present circumstances and experience you have gained. Think of times in the past when you have made a bad choice, and probably still regret it today. If you are honest with yourself, those times are often caused by faulty decision making, probably through not thinking clearly and impartially.
Making a decision impulsively, without thought, is to be reacting primitively, choosing from your conditioning and past experience, without really considering the situation. Thus you always get what you always have in the past. Your mind becomes programmed to think that is the way it will always be.
The danger is that if you don’t sometimes question these responses, you move through your day doing, saying and reacting in the same old way that you have done for years. This is part of the learning process, but sometimes it doesn’t serve you well. You occasionally need to take a step back and observe yourself from a distance, and evaluate your responses.
It is possible to change the course of your life. You need to take charge of your thoughts and decide what you want the outcome to be, then work at thinking about the best outcome, concentrating on it with emotion, and you will draw it to you.
To overcome your habitual reactions you can use several techniques. Seek knowledge from reading relevant articles, or discuss the situation with informed people. This will widen your perceptions and give you a greater choice. When you talk to other people be as objective as possible, leaving your emotions out of it. Just give them the facts so that they in turn can be more objective.
Be alert. That is, make an effort to be consciously aware of what you say and do, at every minute in the day. Living in the moment not only enables you to experience and enjoy life more fully but also gives you the opportunity to consciously think about and question why you feel and act the way you do.
When you are asked your opinion on some subject, pause and really think about your answer. Nine times out of ten you have your answer straight away from your automatic pilot, without really thinking. However, if you take the time to actually listen to the question and think about all aspects of the subject, you may find your habitual thinking has changed, and you have developed a new view point, thus creating a new pathway in your brain.
Challenge your own thinking. Be your own lawyer, but argue both sides of the question. You may have always thought, for instance, that the government does too little for the homeless, or you may feel that the homeless should help themselves and get a job. This is just an example where you may have one point of view, but if you argue the other side to yourself your point of view may change. When you are thinking for yourself and not just sticking with a biased auto response, you have become an educated thinker.
Human nature is to avoid change and remain more comfortable by following the familiar path, one which doesn’t challenge you too much. If the right decision involves big changes then you need to be open to consider them, open to new ideas and solutions.
You may be reluctant to make a decision because you have already invested time and money in getting to your present situation. Be willing to admit past mistakes and learn from them. Be honest and consider the choices impartially, and it could be that rather than pouring good money after bad, your best choice could be to start again at the beginning, working in a completely different direction, a direction decided by you.
Try to take past actions out of the equation, and consider new and different ways in which to move, ways which bring you in line with your values and future desires.
J. Slim said; “When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take – choose the bolder.”
THE BENEFITS OF LIVING IN THE MOMENT
To live mindfully is to be aware of the present moment, to have your focus on the now and not on the future or the past. This does take practice, especially if you are a dreamer or a worrier. Make up some cards to remind you to live mindfully and place them where you will see them often throughout your day.
Each time you are reminded, put yourself in the moment. How are you feeling? What are you doing? Focus your whole being on the task in hand.
The benefits of living mindfully are that you have a greater appreciation of your life – you are more self aware and more in control. The more you can live this way, the more peaceful and serene you will become.
This in turn helps your health to improve, both physically and mentally. You will find that you are more able to accept and deal with life’s challenges. Your creativity and inspiration will improve, and you will find that you can concentrate more easily, becoming more effective in living each day well.
Corita Kent said: “Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed”.
MAKING EACH DAY COUNT
If you were told today that you had less than two months to live, what would you do? Would you change what you are doing at present? How would you treat your family and friends? Are there things to say and clear up with them that you have been putting off? Have you told anybody lately that you love them? Are there places to visit that you have always wanted to see?
You can only live today fully by being aware that your time on this earth is finite. You really don’t know if you have a week, a month or sixty years. The only certainty is that one day your time here will be finished.
Do you wake up every morning and think “what a great day, I’m really excited about today?” Make the most of each day, and each moment of each day. Every morning, there are many people who just don’t have a future beyond today.
Never have regrets – were you grumpy with your spouse or children before you left the house today? Did you tell them to shut up so you could listen to yet another hour of television? Think about these questions and begin to live mindfully and change your habitual negative reactions. Treat everyone as if you may not see them again, because someday that will be true.
Attitude is Everything
By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz
Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”
He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”
Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, ‘Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.’ I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”
“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.
“Yes, it is,” Jerry said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut way all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.”
I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.
I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?”
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.”
“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked.
Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, ‘He’s a dead man.’
“I knew I needed to take action.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breathe and yelled, ‘Bullets!’ Over their laughter, I told them. ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.
The following wonderful thoughts come from Brother Jeremiah’s “I’d Pick more Daisies”,:
If I Could Live My Life Again
If I could live my life again, I’d laugh at my misfortunes more and other people’s predicaments less. Spend more time counting my blessings, less time scrutinizing my blemishes.
I’d spend more time playing with my children and grandchildren, less time watching professional athletes perform. More time enjoying what I have, less time thinking about the things I don’t have.
If I could live my life again, I’d walk in the rain more without an umbrella and listen less to weather reports. I’d spend much more time outdoors in small towns and much less time in tall buildings and big cities. I’d eat more of everything healthy and delicious, less of everything each meal, saving enough on the bill to feed a starving child.
If I could live my life again, I’d get more beach sand between my toes and less friction between myself and others. I’d take more long baths and fewer showers (I can’t explain why I’ve always been in such a hurry to spend my time). I’d spend more time with old people and animals, less time with strangers at clubs and parties.
I’d act the age of my children and grandchildren more and act my own age less. I’d visit libraries, bookstores, and computer networks more and malls and movie theaters less. I’d play the piano more and play fewer mindless games like solitaire. I’d give my spouse and children more tender touches and much less advice.
If I could live my life again, I’d spend more time fully involved in the present moment, less time remembering and anticipating. I’d be more aware of my core values and life mission, and less concerned with the reasons why I might not measure up.
I’d smile more, frown less. I’d express my feelings more, try less to impress my friends and neighbors. I’d forgive and ask forgiveness more, and curse my adversaries less – but most of all I’d be more spontaneous and active, less hesitant and subdued.
When a great idea or spur-of-the-moment adventure popped up – an Easter egg hunt, an open house at school, a game of hide-and-seek, an opportunity to solve a problem at work or to satisfy a disgruntled customer, a hay ride, a chance to build a snowman or paint over graffiti, an invitation to watch a lunar eclipse or a shuttle launch. I’d be less likely to stay in my chair objecting, “It’s not in our plan” and more inclined to jump up and say, “Yes, let’s”.
Sydney Harris said; When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard,” I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?”
EMOTIONAL DECISION MAKING
When you have a difficult decision to make you may feel very emotional about it. It may make you anxious, confused, depressed, stressful or excited.
You may feel pressured by other people and this in turn can cause you to have physical symptoms such as headaches or nausea. They may make you feel frustrated and annoyed when they can’t see your point of view, or when trying to inflict their own views on you.
Often when there is a difficult decision to make, you find you can’t sleep well, so that during the day you are unable to concentrate. If you can, delay the decision until you feel competent to make it.
Try not to make decisions whilst in an emotional state, as you can be steered along the wrong track. Deal with the emotions first, get them under control as much as possible before finalizing your decision. If possible, put off the decision until you have had time to think about it logically and without the emotions getting in the way.
To help yourself into a more calm and logical frame of mind, distract yourself by taking a walk, sleeping on it, or have a long hot soak in the tub.
Remember that the Law of Attraction says that we draw to our selves that which we emotionally focus on. Trying to make a choice while you are in a high negative emotional state can cause you to become impulsive or can prevent you being able to make a decision at all.
Talk to Other People
Talking to others can help you verbalize your choices, which will clarify them a little more in your mind. Choose someone to advise you who is not involved themselves, and ensure they haven’t got a hidden agenda of their own.
Remember, with every decision you should think about your life values and whether the choice will reflect them. Decide if the answer will move you towards or away from your goals? Are there other alternatives that you haven’t yet considered? Asking the right questions can often reveal the right answer. As Paul Samuelson says “Good questions outrank easy answers.”
Mark Twain said: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
WRITE DOWN THE PROBLEM
Put everything down on paper. This will help you to organize your thoughts and often the solution will jump right off the page.
Just writing it down is often enough to bring light to the right answer, or action you should take. As you choose words that describe the problem fully, you will be analyzing the situation in your mind. Simply thinking about the problem and how you can describe it, clarifies it for you, so that you understand it better.
When you have it concisely on paper, write down all the possible answers you can think of. The process will evolve as you write, bringing new ideas to mind.
YOUR MENTAL MOVIE STUDIO
This is a way of using your imagination to make great decisions, by living them through in your mind first.
Sit in a comfortable chair and relax your muscles, one by one. Close your eyes and imagine that you are sitting in a cinema. In front of you is a large screen, and you are the star of the movie.
Start by seeing yourself as you are in your present situation on the big screen. Mentally create the setting which is most appropriate, and then bring in all the people involved. Play out the scenario of how you may act and how others could possibly react in your present circumstances.
Then imagine changing to one of the choices you could make. Strongly imagine yourself in this situation, and again think how others would react. You can repeat this several times, changing the scenario as appropriate, utilizing whatever alternative actions and reactions may occur to you as you play through the movie in your mind. This will give you more information on which to make a decision.
For instance, you may have to decide on whether to have your mother in Law move in with you. Imagine her living in your home, and go through what you think a typical day would be like. Then imagine her moving into a village for the aged and again imagine what her typical day would be like. In both instances try out alternative realities as you go.
Now look at the situation from a completely different perspective. Imagine that maybe you have got the circumstances all wrong, for instance the people involved may not be thinking along the lines that you think they are, or the imagined conditions may never happen. Imagining the opposite can often give you valuable insights that would otherwise elude you.
You can play the movie through several times, with the aim that you refine the situation until the end of the movie is you seeing the ideal outcome for your problem, on the screen. You note the solution, and with that successful outcome in your mind slowly see the credits go up and you gradually come to a fully awakened state. Sit quietly for a few more minutes and think about what you have learned from your visualization movie experience, and write down the solution.
THE IMAGINARY MENTOR METHOD
This tool helps you by imagining you being advised by some of the world’s wisest people.
Sit in your most comfortable easy chair in a restful sitting room. Now imagine that opposite you is another person who is also sitting comfortably. This person could be someone you respect as a role model, someone who is famous in the field of the problem you are wrestling with, or if you don’t know anyone in that field, someone who is renowned for their wisdom, such as Dr Phil, Nelson Mandela, or another well known figure.
Talk to this other person and describe your problem or dilemma as fully as you can. Just thinking through the problem in order to verbalize it will help to crystallize the situation in your mind, and then you can ask them what they would advise. What would they say, how would they solve your problem? Listen carefully, get involved mentally in the conversation, and you may be surprised at the advice you receive.
Another method is to imagine yourself in the boardroom of a large company. Sitting around the board table are six to eight people. These could be people you know who seem to have made wise choices for themselves, they could be well-known business people, or they could be famous people that you respect, such as Donald Trump, Henry Ford, or Bill Gates for instance. If you use this scenario, mentally go around the table and imagine what advice each person would be likely to give you if they were in your situation.
Again, as you advise them of your circumstances, your own subconscious mind will be working on the problem, and helping you to come up with suggestions from your board of advisers.
Sometimes you are just too close to the situation or the people and can’t see the wood for the trees. This is a poor position to make wise decisions from, and you need to create some distance. If you can take a short holiday or even go on a long solitary walk it gives you the space to allow new ideas to come to you.
The Tropical Island
f you can’t actually create the distance physically, you can use this visualization method, to create a mental remoteness. Your imagination is very powerful, and if you can imagine yourself away from your normal life on holiday, you can sometimes get the same results as you would from a physical break.
Relax, letting go of the fear, and imagine yourself on a tropical island. Allow the image to form in your mind, creating the perfect setting. Firstly, imagine what the island will look like – white sand, beautiful blue sea lapping on the shore, graceful palm trees fringing the beach. Then put yourself fully into the picture, lying on the warm sand with the blue sky above, and the soothing rhythm of the waves lapping on the shore. Lazily watch the small puffs of white clouds float slowly across the sky, look to the horizon, and the blue sea spreads out before you as far as you can see. Relax and empty your mind of the problems and choices that you are struggling with.
When you have relaxed completely and let go of the fear, pray quietly for wisdom. Then start to think of the situation in a detached way, as if it is some one else’s problem. Letting go of the fear in this way, and distancing yourself from the problem will enable you to think more clearly and dispassionately. As you continue to relax it allows your subconscious to bring into your mind solutions that will work, which you can test by the mental movie tool, enabling you to arrive at the best decision.
DECISION MAKING BY THE PRO AND CON METHOD
This is a simple method of making two lists, thinking of all the pros and cons you can, listing them in column A for positives, and B for negatives. Think carefully to come up with as many positives and negatives as you can.
This can be carried out over a period of time, so that your sub-conscious can work on the problem. Keep the list handy, so that as you think of new points, you can add them in the appropriate column. When you are confident you have as many points as possible, compare the number of pros or cons in each list. The list with the greatest number of points gives you an indication as to the decision you should make. However, just straight pros and cons may not be sufficient, as some points are more valuable than others.
Then you can use the weighting system, to add value to each item in the list. Give each point a rating from one to ten depending on how important you think it is. Then add up the score in each of the two columns, and you can usually see clearly the best course of action.
Using this method, even though you may have more points against the decision, with the weighting system, the decision may still go the other way.
TOSSING A COIN
When you are not sure which way to jump when making a straightforward decision, you can simply toss a coin. This may seem a trivial method of making decisions, but the philosophy behind it is that in your heart, you know what you want, and before the coin lands you will already know which side of the coin you hope will it will land. It doesn’t matter how the coin lands, it simply is the process that brings to the fore your real desire.
MAKING A WISE DECISION EVERY-TIME
Who you are today is built from the sum of every decision and choice you have ever made. Therefore, it is essential to take the time to make right choices now, and not be tossed by the winds of circumstance and change. Even if you have made unwise decisions in the past for which you are now paying, it’s not too late to stop and begin to create a better life for yourself. Think carefully, following the following guide lines to make good choices now.
It often takes courage to make a wise decision, and it’s important not to make a choice out of fear. To start the process, ask yourself a lot of questions, to ensure that you have as much information as you can on which to base your decision.
Questions such as:
Is it an easy or a complex decision?
If I did nothing at this time would there be any dire consequences?
Is there a real problem or an imagined one?
Have I collected all available data?
Have other people faced the same decision and what did they do about it?
Have you asked your sub-conscious mind to give you insight or an answer?
How great would the consequences be if I decided this way?
Can I live with this choice or that choice?
Would the decision I’m thinking of making hurt other people?
Am I over-reacting to the facts?
Are there any time restraints which need to be taken into account?
Is the problem involved with finances or connected with people?
Simple decisions should be made quickly and easily. If there are no long term detrimental consequences to your decision, such as which film to see, then it really doesn’t matter what the decision is. But for significant choices, it is important to commence the decision process with as much information as possible.
DELAY MAKING A DECISION
If you feel that you haven’t yet got all the information you need, if you can, delay making your decision until you believe you have as much as there is available.
Delaying making a decision can sometimes be the best thing to do if it doesn’t affect the outcome because of bad timing. Often time has a way of resolving the problem anyway, so don’t be in too much of a hurry, and don’t allow others to push you into a decision before you need to. Wait as long as possible, but don’t become a procrastinator, using that as an excuse not to make a decision at all.
USING YOUR INTUITION
Problem solving is one of the best situations in which to utilize your intuitive powers. Always keep a pad and pen by the side of your bed as first thing in the morning as you awaken you will receive your best intuitive thoughts. Remember to ask your sub conscious mind to give you the solution as you fall asleep at night and then expect an answer to be forthcoming.
Use your gut feeling when checking out possible solutions or when taking advice from friends or professionals. What is that inner voice trying to say to you? Does what this person is saying ring true to you or do you get an uncomfortable feeling that all is not quite right? Don’t ignore your gut feelings.
ALWAYS CHOOSE INTEGRITY
If you find yourself in doubt, always make the choice of integrity. The dishonest or devious choice will always backfire on you, but all that is good and decent will move you in the right direction. Choosing against your own values is a recipe for disaster and one that you want to avoid at all costs.
Ask yourself questions such as: “will this action hurt me or anybody else?”; “Will the direction I am moving in create a win-win situation with my fellow man?”; “If the direction my life is taking was reported in the newspaper, would I be proud of it?” “Would my mother approve if she heard about it?”
Anything that you would not like to be public knowledge should always be avoided, but act and make your choices as if it was, so that you are honest with yourself.
Washington Irving said; “An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather.”
PAYING THE PRICE
Someone once said, “Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” There is always a price to be paid for success or change, and it is the person willing to pay that price that succeeds.
Whatever situation you are in, you are paying the price right there. Staying in a boring job means that you pay the price of monotony. Staying in a love-less relationship means that you are paying the price of loss of intimacy. Therefore, it makes sense to decide to pay a new price to better the situation.
For example, when you leave a boring job it means that you have to pay the price of insecurity, searching for new work, perhaps moving to a different district, having to make new friends. When you decide to leave a love-less relationship it means that you have to pay the price of upset, maybe being alone for a time, and again perhaps a change in friends. You have to decide whether the price is worth it.
If you are undecided, weigh the price you are presently paying and the price you will pay to change, then look forward and estimate the advantages or disadvantages in the future. This will soon show you if it is beneficial to make that change or not. If the price seems too high, then think of other directions you could move in, and calculate the advantages or disadvantages of those changes.
Remember, when looking at the future, it may be that in your new direction there may be benefits which are not immediately evident, such as opportunities which come your way because you are in the right place at the right time.
The longer you procrastinate, the deeper you sink into the rut your life has become. The longer you stay there the harder it is to escape it and change your life. Resolve to move on and achieve your goals by paying the price that you need, to succeed and begin to reap the benefits.
Bernard Le Bovier De Fontenelle said; “The world knows well that whoever takes one step will take more; it is important, then, to take the first step well.”
KNOW WHEN TO QUIT
Know when it’s time to call it quits. If you have made a bad decision then don’t hang in there, pull out, cut your losses and move on with your life. There is a time for holding on, as sometimes we quit just before a break through is coming, but when you can clearly see the situation is hopeless, don’t waste more time and energy on a lost cause. Quitting at this stage will leave you with resources to begin again in a new direction.
When unexpected events or changes occur in your life always respond with purpose, and don’t over-react. Always give yourself time before you answer or make a decision, and control your emotional responses by not reacting immediately. Stop, take control, think and then decide your response.
Even a few moments taken to think about your response can save you heartache and grief. It may even be that the best response is no response, that is, to walk away.
Take stock of your options and choose the best one. Ask for more time to review your options if needed.
Walt Disney’s famous words of wisdom
Walt Disney used these four steps to motivate his staff:
Think – What would you really like to do?
Believe – Believe that you can do it.
Dream – Dream of your desire being a reality.
Dare – Dare to step out and achieve your dream.
Using these questions as guidance, we can really think outside the square, as Walt Disney did, to succeed against all odds. If you really answer the questions honestly, you may be surprised by your hidden desires.
THINK LONG TERM
Beware of instant gratification – it usually leads to long-term loss. Instead look at the future, and try to take decisions which will benefit you long term while not being detrimental to the present. Try to think one month, six months or one to five years out, and think about the effects of today’s decisions on your situation at that time in the future.
Always take time to consider decisions – choices made on the spur of the moment can have a sting in the tail which you didn’t see at the time. Taking time will always allow you to consider the future effects of any important decision.
Salespeople often use the tactic of “you must buy today to receive this offer”, knowing that psychologically we don’t want to miss out, and may take a risk just so we don’t lose the benefits on offer. In most cases, the offer is still there tomorrow, and taking the time to think about it will allow us to consider it much more sensibly, a situation the salesperson does not want!
William James said; “When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.”
Sometimes decisions you make could affect friends or family, or could have a detrimental effect on your finances or those close to you.
Try asking yourself questions such as:
“What effect will this decision have on my present and future relationships?”
“How will this decision affect others in my world?”
“What will other people’s reactions be to this decision?”
“What factors do I need to consider before committing to this course of action that may affect my children, spouse or co-worker?”
By asking these questions before you act, you can avoid possible negative reactions from others whom you hadn’t considered.
Again think long term, of how your decisions will affect those around you.
Doing what you love will always bring you the greatest success. You only have one life, and it is too short to waste half of your waking time or more at a job that you don’t enjoy. If you are in that position and able to change, do so. You have to be reasonable in your choice, ensuring that it is realistic and within your capabilities, but don’t sell yourself too short either.
Many of you may not be able to pursue the job or career of your dreams at this time, but don’t give up. You can take action now to start moving in the direction of your dream career, opening up new pathways for you.
Use your spare time to read, train or take courses to help prepare you for your new direction. It may be that you are doing a repetitive job that enables you to listen to training tapes whilst you are working, or you could take the time during the day to focus your thoughts as if you were already working in your new environment, and repeat appropriate affirmations to yourself. This will help activate the law of attraction in your favor.
If you are unsure what your perfect career would be, think of careers which appeal to you, and approach people already doing those jobs. They can tell you exactly what doing the job is like and may even allow you to work with them for a few days in order to gain first hand experience. In this way you can eliminate the occupations that don’t fulfill your expectations, and you may chance upon the type of career that excites you.
Employ the movie method by relaxing with your eyes closed, put yourself mentally in front of the screen and play out various job scenarios. Try out each type of work you think you might like, and watch yourself on the big screen, putting in the words, sounds and even smells that bring that occupation alive for you. When you have settled on the right one, research it to ensure that it really is suitable, then when you have decided that it is indeed the one, add it to your list of goals, and actively work towards it.
Kahlil Gibran said; “We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.”
WHEN YOU HAVE THE PERFECT JOB
The perfect job is one which utilizes all your natural talents, and allows you to grow to fulfill your potential. It may be working for some-one, having your own business or running a nurturing household. It will have a future, offer growth and will give you great satisfaction as well as abundant rewards.
In order to maintain and expand your success, give your very best in every aspect of your work. Continue learning and improving in your particular field, and aim to be at the top of your profession or calling.
Take time to interact with other people in similar work so that you can benefit from their knowledge and impart your own to them. Be the very best that you can and leave the mediocre and average people in your dust.
THE DIRECTION POWER LIST
This is a very powerful method of changing your future, helping you to draw your dreams and aspirations towards you. It works by programming your sub-conscious mind to work on changing your conscious reality, ensuring that you are constantly heading in the right direction. As I said, it is a very powerful tool, so write your list very carefully.
Write a list of goals in a small notebook, then write a list of benefits you will enjoy when you reach each goal.
The items should be very specific and measurable, so think clearly how these benefits will look and feel when you have the pleasure of experiencing them. Write them down being as specific as possible, so that you will definitely know when you have achieved them. I suggest that you write not less than seven benefits and not more than fifteen.
Several times a day, try to withdraw to a quiet place, sit down, relax, and read your list. As you read each item, try to strongly feel the emotion of achieving that benefit. Imagine as vividly as you can enjoying the experience, as if it had already come true. The more intensely you can feel the emotion of the experience, the stronger the law of attraction will work for you, drawing the necessary steps to bring it into being.
The goals on your list will gradually become clearer, and may evolve. As the goals on your list become reality, cross them off and add new ones. On reviewing items already on the list, if your desire has changed, simply cross off that item and add any replacement desires.
Whatever you deeply desire to have or do, becomes reality for you. Make sure you recognize when the goal has been achieved, as sometimes it may appear in a different form to what you thought. Don’t panic when the goals do materialize. When you first use this method it can be a little scary as your life takes dramatic turns. It is an extremely effective and powerful tool.
One last comment is not to show your list to anyone. Keep the list private so that you don’t attract the negativity of others, whose energy could repel the goals, negating your attracting energy.
Preston Bradley said; “I’ve never met a person, I don’t care what his condition, in whom I could not see possibilities. I don’t care how much a man may consider himself a failure, I believe in him, for he can change the thing that is wrong in his life any time he is ready and prepared to do it. Whenever he develops the desire, he can take away from his life the thing that is defeating it. The capacity for reformation and change lies within.”
THE SECRET TO RECEIVING
When you have decided on the direction you want to take in life, and begin attracting your desires to you, remember some important points:
- Directing your imagination, dreams and feelings will increase the speed at which your desires materialize.
- Remember the law of giving. You receive in proportion to, or more, the amount that you freely give.
- Don’t hold grudges or be unforgiving as this blocks the movement of universal energy.
- Cultivate feeling wealthy and living in abundance, as you can only grow in the areas that you believe you can.
- Try not to mix with people who are energy drainers and those who love to knock your dreams down.
- Trust yourself to choose the right direction and goals for your life.
- Every event or situation in your life happens for a reason. Look for the lesson, learn the lesson, and move forward.
- There is no lack of abundance in the Universe.
Use the law of vacuum to create space for new and exciting situations to materialize in your life each day. The law of vacuum operates by filling a void that you create. For example, clean out your wardrobe of old and out of date clothing, and you have created a vacuum for a new wardrobe of clothes to be attracted to you.
- Focus on the positive, and believe in your dreams.
Goethe said; “Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, and then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise never have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.
INSPIRATION FROM THE LIFE OF BUCKMINSTER FULLER
Buckminster Fuller was an outstanding American philosopher, inventor, architect and writer.
There is a story that in his early years, he had a reputation as somewhat of a wastrel, he was lazy and enjoyed socializing instead of spending time with his family.
One day in 1927 when he was 32, his 6-year old daughter, Alexandra, was sick, and he left the house to go to a football game. He promised to return soon, and bring his daughter a small flag which they had at the game, for her birthday.
In the event, he didn’t go home for three days, and when he returned, his wife told him that Alexandra was very much worse, and had been asking for him.
When Fuller picked Alexandra up, she asked him if he had brought her the flag. He had to admit that he hadn’t, and the disappointment for her was so great that she gave up her fragile hold on life and died in his arms.
Fuller felt so bad, that he went for a walk, and decided to drown himself in Lake Michigan. Standing on the bank of the lake, the story is that he heard a voice, saying that he had no right to end his life, it was not his to end, and he had not fulfilled his purpose yet.
Fuller decided to ‘experiment’ to try to discover what, if anything, one penniless individual might be able to do to benefit all humanity.
First of all, the story goes, he stopped talking for two years! He realized that words had tremendous power, and had often got him into trouble. He vowed not to speak until he was sure of the effect and meaning of every word.
He believed that there was a supreme being who wants to make people successful and provide everything that they need to live an abundant life. He tried to discover what ‘rules’ God used in setting up the universe, and went on to formulate what he called the ‘Generalized Principles’ of the universe.
During the course of his remarkable ‘experiment’, over the next fifty-four years, he:
- Was awarded 25 U.S. patents
- Authored 28 books
- Received 47 honorary doctorates in the arts, science, engineering and the humanities
- Received dozens of major architectural and design awards including, among many others, the Gold Medal of the American Institute of Architects and the Gold
- Medal of the Royal Institute of British Architects
- Created work which found itself into the permanent collections of museums around the world
- Circled the globe 57 times, reaching millions through his public lectures and interviews.
It is remarkable the catalyst that can propel us into achieving more than we ever thought possible. This is a sad story in one way, but in another it illustrates the possibilities which are available, and shows how one man overcame the past and accomplished so much.
If you feel insignificant and without the resources to cause a change in the world, remember this one man’s story and know that it is possible to soar to the heights that we used to only dream of.
Henry David Thoreau said; “Things do not change, we do.”
Your life passes, whether you guide it or drift with the tide, and it is up to you to decide your direction, and plan to live life with passion and joy. Work out where you are now, decide what you want out of life, then take the steps necessary to achieve your goals.
Remember along the way that life is a journey, not a destination. Take time to enjoy each day, whilst moving in the direction of your dreams.
Thank you for reading and may all your dreams come true.