Price of Caring What others think?
Let me ask you this “What is the Real Price of Caring What others think?”
How many people are in trouble right now because they took on a huge mortgage that they could barely afford? Others bought a bigger car, an extra car or maybe staged an expensive wedding? They have closets full of designer clothing, handbags and shoes that they hardly wear and now a credit card debt they can’t repay.
Because of debt constant stress and arguments fill their homes. Their children suffer as they watch their parent’s relationship breakdown. Even the children catch this (caring what others think bug) they get upset when their parents can no longer afford the designer outfits they want to impress their friends and schoolmates. Are these the values we want our children to learn?
There are many ways of hurting ourselves by trying to look good in front of our peers. Take the perfect Mom syndrome. “Yes, I will help at the school fete and anything else you ask of me.” “No, I can’t send my child to school on a special day with a shop bought cake.” Rather they spend hours making an impressive unique creation.
We strive to look and be our best at work, offering hours of overtime to the disadvantage of our family life. We spend time with people we no longer have anything in common with, attend social events we have no interest in, to look good.
It’s time to wake up and think about ourselves and our family. Time to create an affordable and sustainable future based on our own preferences. Do you think people care about what you wear or do, where you live and what you drive? And even if they do, does it affect you?
As a teenager I complained about an outfit that I thought wasn’t fashionable. I wanted to look like the ‘cool’ kids, my grandmother said this to me…“If we realized how often people thought about us, we would find that it was almost never!” The truth is most people think about themselves 99% of the time. They have their own problems, and scarcely give you a second thought. Even so, we find ourselves running our lives in the way that we think pleases and impresses them.
So many of us are scrambling around trying to look and act in the ways that we believe people expect of us. Wouldn’t it be more relaxing to be our own person? When we spend money, you can’t afford, on the latest fashions, the best car, or a house, merely to impress our friends and neighbors, we regret it later.
It is time to understand that when we’re living life in a way that we think will impress others or make them envious, we are hurting ourselves and heading for disaster. When, what other people think about us starts to control our life, it’s time to change.
There are times, of course, when it’s prudent to consider our effect on other people. At times like a job interview or meeting our “in-laws” for the first time.
I am not recommending that we shouldn’t make any attempt to dress nicely or drive a reasonable car which is safe or live in a pleasant neighborhood. If we can afford it, and it’s what we want, then there’s no problem. We need to be aware of our motivating force before we spend more than we can afford or want.
The problem lies in ‘maxing’ out credit cards, or having a large mortgage, or spending in other ways to impress others. It’s just not worth it for the loss of peace of mind, and maybe risking our future if we unexpectedly lose our job or some unforeseen outlay comes along.
Doesn’t it make more sense to live within our means, and include a saving plan within our budget? That way, we’ll have a nest egg for hard times instead of being in the unenviable position of having to offload a fancy car or sell our house in an unfavorable market. Find other ways to build self-worth by being a loving parent, a good friend or helping others when we can. These actions will give us far more happiness and a feeling of security, connection and belonging.
By being ourselves, believing in ourselves, and being true to us, we’ll discover that life becomes more enjoyable, tranquil and less of a rat race. Remember that we’re unique human beings, and we’re here to fulfill our divine destiny. We’re not here to collect stuff and not to live our lives to someone else’s agenda.
Take a few moments right now to reflect on your own life and see if you need to make any changes. Look at your belongings, the way you use your time, the real friends you have around you, and reflect on your motivating force. By looking inward and understanding yourself you’ll be in a position to make rational life choices. Choices that move you forward and give you a better future for yourself and your family.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
– Mark Twain